Friday, December 17, 2010

"The Haunted Vagina" and other gifts from Zombos' Closet



A couple of weeks ago, Zombos' Closet of Horror had a list of gruesome books you could buy for your boss, your mum, your sweetie... anyone with a screwed up sense of fun. Normally I blow right past these. I didn't spend more than a decade in the magazine industry to be impressed by a book list and...

And then I saw The Haunted Vagina on the list. That can't be what I think it is, I was certain. I read the tagline: "It's difficult to love a woman whose vagina is a gateway to the world of the dead." And everything I thought about literature was wrong.

The editorial review on Amazon elaborates:
In Carlton Mellick III's fourteenth bizarro novel, The Haunted Vagina... [w]e are introduced to Steve and his girlfriend Stacy, whose "haunted" vagina is a problem for their sex life. When a skeleton-like creature emerges from Stacy's vagina, the two decide to explore what may be inside of her.

It's only 100 pages long, so you might consider supplementing the gift. With drugs. But also consider the other items on Zombos' list -- an excellent pop-up book of phobias, The Who's Who of British Beheadings, and offerings about pirate sodomy, hair metal bands, murder ballads, and castration. Anyway, it's an excellent list. None of these books will be endorsed by Oprah, and some of them might be illegal where you live.

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