REFRESH, you worm!
You think you've refreshed enough? You're not done refreshing, until I SAY you're done. You're going to keep refreshing until your fingers are red and chapped. Or you'll get the paddle again.
You like the Polls-Plus paddle, don't you? DON'T YOU?
Look at the new polls. On your knees, and look at them! They're just raw numbers, aren't they? You don't know why it matters that figure changed in Indiana - it's not even a battleground, right? BUT NOW WE RUN THROUGH THE MODEL, AND HILLARY JUST LOST A QUARTER OF A PERCENT!
You're trembling, worm. You need the model, don't you? All three versions. EVEN THE NOWCAST. EVEN IF NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK IT MEANS!
The model is everything, isn't it worm? Say it's everything. SAY IT.
Some jackass on MSNBC just tossed off a new SurveyMonkey number from New Hampshire, and they have graphics. But you're not impressed, are you? You don't listen to Chuck Todd, worm, do you? It's only one number, and it hasn't even been weighted yet!
Mike Barnicle is jawing about some guy he met in a bar with a goddamned insight? Peggy Noonan talked to her Puerto Rican friend at the store - a woman who might not even exist? Some context-free early voting stats you saw on Twitter?
None of that matters. None. Not until I say it matters. I will paddle you with the Poll-Plus if you disagree.
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